Attachment theory is a psychological theory that explains how humans form emotional bonds with others, especially in childhood. According to this theory, children need to develop a secure attachment with at least one primary caregiver, usually the mother, for healthy social and emotional develop.
The theory was developed by John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, who studied the effects of separation and loss on children.
Bowlby also identified four stages of attachment development in children:
- Pre-attachment stage (birth to 6 weeks): The infant shows no preference for any caregiver and responds to anyone who provides comfort and care.
- Attachment-in-the-making stage (6 weeks to 6-8 months): The infant begins to recognize and prefer the primary caregiver and shows signs of distress when separated from him or her.
- Clear-cut attachment stage (6-8 months to 18-24 months): The infant forms a strong bond with the primary caregiver and seeks his or her proximity and contact. The infant also shows fear of strangers and separation anxiety.
- Goal-corrected partnership (18 months-2 years and on): In this stage, the child develops a more mature and reciprocal relationship with the caregiver, based on mutual understanding and communication. The child also becomes more independent and explores the environment with the caregiver’s support.
Attachment styles
Attachment theory also suggests that the quality of the attachment between the child and the caregiver influences the child’s attachment style in adulthood. There are four main attachment styles in adults:
- Secure attachment: People with secure attachment feel comfortable with intimacy and dependence on others. They have high self-esteem, trust, and satisfaction in their relationships.
- Anxious-preoccupied attachment: People with anxious-preoccupied attachment crave intimacy and approval from others, but fear rejection and abandonment. They have low self-esteem, high anxiety, and insecurity in their relationships.
- Dismissive-avoidant attachment: People with dismissive-avoidant attachment value independence and self-reliance over intimacy and closeness. They have high self-esteem, low anxiety, and detachment in their relationships.
- Fearful-avoidant attachment: People with fearful-avoidant attachment have mixed feelings about intimacy and dependence. They desire closeness, but fear being hurt or betrayed.
Attachments styles can vary over time. Therefore, it is possible to develop more secure attachment style as an adult by seeking professional help. Psychotherapy is a process of exploring and healing one’s psychological issues with the help of a trained professional. Changing one’s attachment style requires self-awareness, motivation, and willingness to change. It also takes time and patience, as old patterns may not change easily.
