Shame is a complex and painful emotion that can affect your self-esteem, relationships, and well-being. If you are struggling with shame, there are some healthy ways to cope with it and overcome it. Some of these include:
Recognizing and naming your feelings of shame. Acknowledging your emotions can help you understand them better and reduce their intensity (Greenberg, 2024).
Challenging your negative self-talk and beliefs. Instead of accepting the harsh judgments of yourself or others, try to replace them with more realistic and compassionate ones (Gilbert, 2011).
Seeking support from others who can empathize with you and validate your feelings. You are not alone in feeling shame, and there are people who care about you and want to help you (Swerdlow, Sandel, & Johnson, 2023).
Practicing self-compassion and forgiveness. Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and remember that you are a human being who makes mistakes and learns from them (Swee, Klein, Murray, & Heimberg, 2023; Mróz & Sornat, 2022).
A psychotherapist can help you cope with your feelings of shame and address its underlying causes (Di Sarno, Fanti, Perry, Madeddu, & Di Pierro, 2024; Proeve, Anton, & Kenny, 2018).
Reference List:
- Di Sarno, M., Fanti, E., Perry, J. C., Madeddu, F., & Di Pierro, R. (2024). When psychotherapy runs into shame: A scoping review of empirical findings. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 34(4), 463–483. https://doi.org/10.1037/int0000337
- Gilbert, P. (2011). Shame in psychotherapy and the role of compassion focused therapy. In R. L. Dearing & J. P. Tangney (Eds.), Shame in the therapy hour (pp. 325–354). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/12326-014
- Greenberg, L. S. (2024). Regulating shame. In L. S. Greenberg, Shame and anger in psychotherapy (pp. 81–99). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/0000393-005
- Mróz, J., & Sornat, W. (2022). Shame- and guilt-proneness and self-compassion as predictors of self-forgiveness. Journal of Beliefs & Values, 44(2), 188–202. https://doi.org/10.1080/13617672.2022.2076455
- Proeve, M., Anton, R., & Kenny, M. (2018). Effects of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy on shame, self-compassion and psychological distress in anxious and depressed patients: A pilot study. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 91(4), 434–449. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12170
- Swerdlow, B. A., Sandel, D. B., & Johnson, S. L. (2023). Shame on me for needing you: A multistudy examination of links between receiving interpersonal emotion regulation and experiencing shame. Emotion, 23(3), 737–752. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001109
- Swee, M. B., Klein, K., Murray, S., & Heimberg, R. G. (2023). A brief self-compassionate letter-writing intervention for individuals with high shame. Mindfulness, 14(4), 854–867. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-023-02097-5