Schemas in schema therapy are patterns of thinking and feeling that are formed in childhood and can cause problems in adulthood if they are not addressed. Schemas are based on the idea that our core emotional needs may not have been met by our caregivers or other significant people in our lives, such as safety, attachment, autonomy, expression, and play. When these needs are not met, we develop schemas that influence how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world.
Some examples of schemas are:
- Abandonment: The belief that people you love will leave you or be unavailable when you need them.
- Mistrust: The belief that people will hurt, abuse, cheat, or take advantage of you.
- Defectiveness: The belief that you are flawed, unworthy, or unlovable.
- Dependence: The belief that you are unable to handle everyday responsibilities without help from others.
- Subjugation: The belief that you have to surrender your needs and emotions to please others or avoid conflict.
- Entitlement: The belief that you deserve special treatment or can do whatever you want without regard for others.
Overcoming your schemas can be challenging, but not impossible.
They are some possible steps to follow in psychotherapy room:
- Identify your schemas: you and your therapist will assess your schemas, and will discuss how they affect your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Use of questionnaires or worksheets is very helpful.
- Challenge your schemas: You and your therapist will use cognitive techniques to examine the evidence for and against your schemas and look for alternative explanations or perspectives. You will also use flashcards or affirmations to remind yourself of more balanced or positive beliefs.
- Heal your schemas: You and your therapist will use emotion-focused techniques to access and express your emotions related to your schemas and receive validation and support from others. You will also use imagery or role-play to re-parent yourself and meet your unmet needs.
- Replace your schemas: You and your therapist will use behavioral techniques to experiment with new ways of acting that are more consistent with your healthy adult mode and less influenced by your schemas. You can also use rewards or incentives to reinforce your new behaviors and increase your self-esteem.
Overcoming your schemas is possible, it takes time and requires awareness, motivation, and practice. There is no definitive answer to how long it takes to overcome a schema, as it depends on many factors, such as: the number and severity of your schemas, the type and frequency of your therapy sessions, your motivation and willingness to change, your response to the therapy techniques, your other mental health conditions or challenges. However, some sources suggest that schema therapy can take between 6 months and 2 years on average, and sometimes longer. Schema therapy is an intensive and long-term treatment that requires commitment and patience.
